June 25, 2015 Stories 0

The single most important thing to me is sharing. That has taken me considerable time to work out !

When I get something I really get it, up to that point I need a base to understand things and with that base I build brick by brick until I get it. That’s just how it is for me and I like that about me because I know that once I know, I know.

I find not sharing odd, really I do. I know people who cannot even share a simple “Good Morning” a gesture that acknowledges the simple existence of another person. I have worked in an office where for four days I never uttered a single word.

I live alone so it occurred to me that I actually never uttered a word in four whole days. That was a record for me. I would not have believed that I could leave my home and go to work and not utter a word. This went on in drips and drabs a few days here and there until I was asked a work question one day at the office and I had to stop and think how to string a sentence together.

My time in this workplace had to be limited. I would become fixed like this, if I stayed, this I knew. Sadly, I stayed just a bit too long and saw myself changing, I resigned the same day. That in itself was a risk, I had no other job.

My awareness has increased over the last few years so when I say “I saw myself changing” – I mean that cringe moment when you start to behave like people you don’t want to imitate and somehow you are standing outside yourself and looking down at yourself and that other self is saying ‘Oh No’.

I know the work I do can be solitary work. I like to be given my work and left alone to do it. I don’t like zero communication, guessing and looking at people next to me who wear earphones as they sit and do their solitary work. My dislike of earphones has increased a hundred times. I have noticed as office morale deteriorates, the earphone usage increases. I still hold in my mind the picture of one girl’s look of frustration as I try to get her attention to ask a question. She pulled the plug out of one ear and gave me “the look”, she would not say a word. Shocked, I forgot the question. Is she at work or not? That becomes my new question…oh but that one I cannot ask.

For me communication is a given. In my family, we fought over who was going to talk next, we were loud and bold. We laughed and cried. The whole idea that we don’t need to communicate anything just completely flaws me. There is so much I cannot know and if nobody is willing to tell me – how does that work! Work itself must suffer, the quality compromised, what for? The sake of saving a few words.

If we never communicated to each other we would all still be sitting around in the open building fires and looking for food, in all the wrong places. Sure we can follow what others have done and that is fine, no problems there. Oh, what if the others found those poison berries and we eat them as well and then we saw the others, not well, oh dear, we have followed the wrong person!!! Damn! We all make mistakes and blindly following others can be a big mistake.

Being given the ability to think allows us the use of thinking, at least every now and then. Like walking, we need to do it to keep the ability. If we “think” we can get jobs anywhere anytime because we trust in our own abilities to work things out – enough to know we are not going to be eating those poison berries.

I’m learning to think with awareness. Now I have this new found awareness I can’t make it go away, sometimes I wish I could. I was happy in my Rose Coloured glasses.

Sharing is not just about dividing up your lunch, if necessary that is good, to me sharing encompasses all things. Sharing information, knowledge, skills, a laugh, a story, a “Good Morning” and “Enjoy your evening” anything that reaches out to someone and brings him or her into your life. Because…I think we need that connection to each other. Well, I do.

Copyright © Mary Willetts 2015

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