January 14, 2012 Stories 0


Indubitably – it’s one of this man favorite words. He says it so well. I told this man in my life, “I have a plan, you know”; to which he confidently replied, “Indubitably”. He is certain I have a plan, all right.

I am thinking this dismissive, one-word answer which stops further chatter from me is covering up his deep fear of just what my plan is in regards to him.

He may have worked it through enough to know my plan will not be going to print.

This morning the topic of conversation turned to marriage (not any suggestion of us and marriage, just marriage in general) and the lack of confidence he had in the institution. His suggestion was that of dealership that allowed you to trade-in and buy again – a process he had already worked out the fine print for within 10 seconds of having that first thought. The man needs to be in business.

“The idea is you can trade in the model,” he said. “Not on a whim, it has to be honest and you can’t be flippant or blasé about it.”  A “relationship trade-in dealership”. Definitely has a ring to it, hey? “No kicking, there can’t be any kicking on the way to the dealership,” he added, and we laughed.

A relationship dealership, a relationship broker. Then the conversation turned to the seriousness of such a transaction and the paperwork involved.

He knows how to have a laugh at himself and at the experiences we all have. We are unique yet the same in so many ways. We crave relationships and then we find them to be a tricky business with ships sailing towards collision.

My happy tap man is indubitably ready for the business world. He seems to know what he wants – or does he?

But I cannot discuss his mind or feelings – it would be wrong; besides which, I cannot work him out. I am forced to think about my own mind, my mind’s wardrobe of items to be looked through and sorted out. I have a mind wardrobe where I store thoughts that I am still pondering or ones that I just want to leave hanging there for the moment.

To be on your own does offer a certain amount of appeal. I rather like it myself. I like doing what I want, when I want, without criticism. I have not been criticized much in my life.  I was lucky to be a product of wonderful parents and lucky again to pick people in my life who lack the need to criticize.

However right now if I burn the toast nobody is going to tell me I burnt the toast.

Copyright © Mary Willetts 2012

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