Fact or Fiction
Fact or Fiction
Continually I ask myself is this true or not? To start with what is true aligns with the balance that resides within me.
A core truth is that each of us is doing the best we know how to do.
It took me ages to get my head around this one statement. To feel it deeply and understand where that one statement can lead to in re-framing the patterns of thought. Those thoughts that had been allowed to evolve without any management on my part.
If it is true that we are all doing the best we know how-to do not just the best we can, the best we know how to do then this truth always provides acceptance.
What is – is what is. Place into the bowl of acceptance all those cliché all the dribble that is out there about all sorts of things, all the management training and all the self-righteous acts we take upon ourselves to perform in the name of teaching someone a lesson or managing their behaviour.
Nobody learns anything from lessons driven by anger, frustration, denial, resentment or illusions. You only ever injure yourself over and over again with anger and frustration as you try to change or rebel to what is, look at your own core truth only.
Perhaps we think that we know better that our way is right and any other way is wrong, well the chances are that is also an illusion.
Become aware that your thoughts are powerful weapons that you only ever use on yourself. It’s a war. An internal war and just like the Catch 22 book you are sane when you realize how stupid it is to be at war. However you cannot be released from the war because there is a war and once you are sane then you are medically fit to participate in the war. Only the insane get put on sick leave and they don’t even see the war so they miss out completely and continue to faithfully participate. They willingly participate because they are insane. Think that through.
Once awareness has started each time the crazy thoughts appear you can laugh. I found the best method of “catching” my thoughts was in an image of all thoughts floating out there somewhere, which helped me to understand that I did not have ownership on the random crazy thoughts. The idea of “owning your feelings” is extremely dangerous. What are my feelings? What is true from that statement?
I found that my feelings are often all over the place like some sort of jumping circus act. They respond to any number of stupid things that happen each and everyday. It can feel like a tumbler dryer in my head with crazy thoughts spinning around and then like a poker machine they seem to stop on a cycle and bang that’s the thought I get in my head as the main thought – at that moment.
Like really I want to trust this tumble dryer, spin cycle, as a system to live by? How true can that be? No matter what the thought the odds of it being sane are nil. The only sane thought is no thought.
So once I realize this – of course I can actually stop this – that is not to say it is easy to stop it or that it can be done always instantly. If I use a time line and that can only relate to me, being that we are all different, then I can note that it has now been two years since I became aware enough to grasp this concept. That was one mayor aha moment (to use a cliché, when the penny dropped …pick a cliché) in a lifetime of aha moments.
In the past 2 years I have experienced the deepest contentment in my life. The most enormous sense of joy just wells inside me. It stays, it never leaves, however this sense of inner truth must live in an insane world with loads of people who are doing the best they know how to do and often times that is still driven by suffering via painful thoughts via illusions. I have to live with that because that is what is.
If you or I dig deep enough to see that the behaviour are illusions being played out by another human being; and at times this is extremely challenging, then you or I will always come back to the core truth that the insane behaviour you and I are witnessing is another human being doing the best they know how to do.
At any given time we are all in a different spot of the same line. We are all connected because we are all here (that is true) – we are the line – a line of humanity each at a different spot.
I remind myself not to fall into the trap of believing I am at a higher level than anyone else. I am not. You are where you are; I am where I am and that is all you or I need to accept. There are no add on’s. To add on is to judge.
The challenge is to not get drawn into the drama that others create in their lives. Let it stay with them. Walk away from it at the emotional level just as you would walk away from any sort of attack.
You can never change what is; it is a waste of the precious energy resources you have by interacting with this sort of display of drama. Take your own thinking back to the core truth that this person is doing the best they know how to do. Remove your own emotional reactions is all you can do.
Be aware that you don’t have any other add on to this thought. Like – I am doing better or that they are this that or the other. By adding judgments, by being critical you will only be depleting your own sense of joy. It makes no difference where they are. It is only your joy that you need and this has nothing to do with anyone else. It is within you.
Up there on my list of disliked cliché statements is “it is not my problem”. Yet recently I found myself saying these words and trying to choke them back at the same time as they were coming out of my mouth. Words are misleading and through overuse cliches have come to represent things that perhaps were never the intention in the original concept.
For me once I get to the point of accepting that this person is where they are and doing their best – that is often the most challenging part in itself still – then I have to stop myself bringing in new thoughts like “it’s not my problem” because this statement incites anger in me. Anger is never, never helpful.
For me to bring myself to the calm place I have to have no thought. I just accept that it is what it is. With acceptance there is nothing else to do.
I cannot alter the behaviour of anyone at best I can just remain present with that. There is nothing that can be done or should be done. To react is insane.
It is all easier to write about than to live but that is the challenge and challenges arrive, as we need them, many teachings in Zen state this. Many current leading spiritual teachers say this like Eckhart Tolle to name but one.
To start at the start is to start with a core truth. Not a belief, a truth. We can believe all sorts of dribble that does not make it true. A belief is only an opinion, often drive by media or current cliches. A truth can always be tested. Something that is indisputable. Is this a fact or is this fiction? We each do the best we know how to do at any given time is true. It cannot be anything else.
Eventually this core truth provides a sense of pure forgiveness driven by the biblical statement “they know not what they do” Luke 23:34. They are completely unaware. That is what it is.
Copyright © Mary Willetts 2018